Life before death, with my father-in-law

We do not choose our parents or our bosses. Our parents we cannot know; our bosses select us. But we may choose our friends and partners. So if I had a choice again to marry, I would choose to marry my wife Kalpana. But this time round, I would have one more reason than that I love her: I knew and loved her father too.

Prof. K.L. Joshi, my father-in-law, died yesterday, Saturday, 11 April 2009, after completing 87 years the day before, on 10 April. A gentle peaceful man, he was a wonderful human being, a political activist to the core and a world-class public intellectual.

Fond of mathematics, Prof Joshi taught science and technology at the College of Engineering, Pune (COEP) from 1955 until his retirement in 1980 as its Head of the Department of Electronics and Telecommunications.

When I first met him in 1981, as Kalpana’s father, I was surprised that he was glad I was a political activist and that too associated with the Communist Party of India (Marxist)! Himself a socialist and close to the communists, the socialists and the Gandhians, he was concerned that I did not have a full-time job.

One of his first questions to me was, “Will you take up a full-time job, after you get married?” My yes reassured him. And when I joined Maharashtra Herald on 2 May 1983 as a sub-editor, he was happy I kept my word, and was not bothered that my monthly salary of 600 rupees was less than what his daughter earned.

The multi-faceted life and work of Prof. K.L. Joshi, fondly called “K.L.” by his friends, deserves a full-length biography. Here I will describe a few reasons why I grew to love him.

He was a daring freedom-fighter, having served a prison term in Yerawada Jail, Pune, during the 1942 Quit India movement. In his room, there is a picture of the 20 year-old “K.L.” taken just after he got out of jail. He does not face the camera; I like to imagine he is looking into the distance at the India he and his comrades are fighting for.

“Anna”, as we called him in the family, touched the individual lives of many, drawing them close to him. He did this not by words of affection but by the simple example of his own life and kind deeds. Others may tell their own stories of him. I will tell you mine.

When I proposed to Kalpana, it was not easy for her “Brahmin” family to say yes. I went through an astonishing “interview” by her relatives, so that they could get to know the “Catholic” boy. I have put the words Brahmin and Christian in double inverted commas, because neither were they traditional Pune “Brahmins” nor was I the usual “Catholic” boy.

One person who accepted me without reservation was Prof. K. L. Joshi. His only questions were practical and those that any father of any eligible girl has a right to ask. For his unqualified support, I always loved him. We had our differences, especially on ideological issues, but he was most gracious and courteous when he disagreed with me. He respected differences and did not wish to offend and lose a friend.

I recall an interview of Paul Eddington, the actor who played the role of the British Prime Minister in the TV series, “Yes, Minister”. In Face to Face with Jeremy Isaacs, a week before he died of cancer, Paul says he would like to be remembered by the words, “He did very little harm.” This would be a fitting epitaph for Prof. K.L. Joshi.

In a Pune that is hide-bound with the most covert, sophisticated and brazen forms of caste and class prejudice, he was a rare example of honest humanity, refusing to submit to pressure from any quarter. For him, merit always came above all else.

His contributions on various selection panels and boards, ranging from the Union Public Service Commission (UPSC) to the college or job interview panel, are outstanding and dearly remembered by thousands for their impartiality, fearlessness and respect for merit – and nothing else.

He did not believe in life after death. He practised his beliefs in his own life, by refusing to have any religious ceremonies for his sons or daughters. He professed his beliefs with his grand-children, prepared to argue, "Does God exist?” For him, there was only this one life to be lived fully on earth – before death. A Gandhian socialist, he believed all people everywhere are good and deserve to be treated so. I like to believe if heaven is real, it is because it is possible to create a heaven on earth.

When he left at eighty-seven,
Fearlessly,
No life after death.
In us, he left his heaven,
Life before death.

That’s all, this Sunday.

Your support is my strength,
- Joe.

Pune, Sunday, 12 April 2009.